Somebody to live for
by SwanQueenEndGame
Summary: Gabrielle does everything she can to bring Xena back while trying not to lose herself along the way. Bringing Xena back is all that matters but what if the woman she gets isn't the one she lost. Xena/Gabrielle ; Athena/Ilainus ; Ares/Xena (one sided). Post-FIN.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my first try at a Xena/Gabrielle fanfic.**

 **All characters belong to the rightful owners, this is fan work. I don't get any money for this just fun and the oportunity to get some stuff out of my chest.**

 **Post-FIN**

 **Feed back is always apreciated. Please read and review.**

 **xx** **(PS: A special thank you to my amazing beta mermaidrina, my pookie and writing soul mate) **

"You have to stop Gabrielle" they had had this conversation before "it's done, it's over..." Xena's voice came soft to her ears, being able to listen to that voice was both a blessing and a curse.

"It is not over Xena, you are not over!" she screamed her voice overflowing with frustration, _we are not over,_ she thought to herself. There was still so many things to be said, and yet she always thought they would have more than enough time. In Gabrielle's eyes Xena was invincible. Now, two months after Xena's death, she blamed both of them for everything left unsaid.

"Gabrielle..." the tall warrior tried to reach for her friend's shoulder but it was useless, she knew touching her was impossible. The first few weeks after her death Xena started to become more and more like a spectrum, the strength that had kept her spirit bound to Gabrielle had started to fade away and now she was just a voice and a shadow getting weaker every day.

"There is no way to get me back Gabrielle, you have to give up. You're hurting yourself." the words left her mouth before she could stop herself and the change in Gabrielle's features only confirmed her mistake.

"I'm hurting myself? You were the one who left! I asked you not to go, I begged you to turn away and get back home" her voice was deeper than usual and the pain behind her words made Xena feel more guilt than any massacre ever could. Deciding to let her bard vent and get everything out of her chest Xena stood there in silence.

"You got a chance to be the great warrior princess one last time while I got to be left behind, alone" Gabrielle let out a weak sigh and held her head in her hands.

"I'm not giving up Xena and I'll ask you this one last time, be by my side as I always was by yours, trust me as I trusted you so many times.".

"Just promise me you won't get yourself killed" Xena asked, concern clear in her voice.

"You're one to talk..."

"I'm serious Gabrielle, promise me"

Gabrielle nodded and sat down by the fire.

"Wherever you go..." the warrior started with a small smile.

"I know... I know..."

* * *

While she was still alive Xena had never been one to sleep much, now she didn't need to sleep at all. This was the first time however that she had left Gabrielle's side.

"Xena, you're here..." the feminine voice sounded more surprised than ever but it was still a very familiar sound.

"Hello Aphrodite".

Seeing Aphrodite in black again was a weird sight to her, they were all used to the goddess' pink cheerful side, this darker more mature side of her was still a mystery.

"I knew you were still around, I could sense you but I never thought you would come visit me" the sadness in her words was clear to Xena.

"Why not? We are friends even if we don't always see eye to eye, are we not?"

The goddess smiled back at the warrior princess. "Still I don't believe that is the only reason for your presence here".

Whoever said blonds were dumb was dead wrong Xena thought to herself. "You're right, I need a favour" the warrior confessed quickly.

"I need you to convince Gabrielle to give up on me" Aphrodite's face immediately turned into something between confusion and shock.

"Excuse me?" the goddess replied as if she needed to make sure she was not crazy, or dreaming, or even drunk.

"I need you to make Gabrielle stop trying to bring me back to life" the bitter laugh that suddenly filled the air almost startled the warrior princess, Aphrodite started pacing around the temple, her hands on her hips.

"You're out of your mind"

"She needs to stop, she's gonna get herself killed" Xena explained, she needed the goddess to understand, she needed her help to save Gabrielle from herself.

"She's a grown up woman Xena, she's a strong, determined, resourceful woman. She's not the little girl who used to follow you around" Aphrodite was clearly proud of who Gabrielle had become and Xena was torn between feeling grateful and jealous.

"She hasn't sleep in weeks, she has been traveling day and night fighting with every single bandit that comes her way and I can't help her. If something happens to her... I can't watch her die"

She was praying Aphrodite could understand her, she couldn't let Gabrielle kill herself in anger and despair, it was not her time to leave the mortal world yet, no matter how much Xena missed her. They would have many other lives to be together but Gabrielle still had so much to live on that one.

"Please" The mighty warrior princess, Xena the destroyer of nations, begging, not even Aphrodite could ignore that.

"I will keep her safe as much as I can, but it's her choice, I won't try to control her."

"Thank you" Xena thanked even though this deal wasn't what she had expected to get, it was better than nothing and it had to be enough.

Xena started to fade away to get back to Gabrielle.

"It was good to see you Xena" Aphrodite's words were as sincere as possible. No matter how different they were, Xena was right, they were friends.

"It was good to see you too"


	2. Chapter 2

_**Here we go again, another chapter.**_

 _ **I know this one is a little shorter but it's all I wanted it to be so I'm pretty happy about that.**_

 _ **Xena and Gabrielle mean the world to me their story, their love it inspires me and I hope I can make them justice with this.**_

 _ **Once again I've been blessed with an amazing beta who is also the one who keeps encouraging me to keep writing even when I'm 99% sure I suck at it. So mermaidrina, my pookie thank you for being the one who believes in me.**_

 _ **At last (I know long notes are boring as heck and I'm so sorry) I decided to start every chapter with a quote by our fandom's second favorite writer, Sappho.**_

 _ **Read, review and above all enjoy.**_

" _ **Once again love drives me on, that loosener of limbs,**_ _ **bittersweet creature against which nothing can be done." : Sappho**_

Everything about those scrolls sounded so innocent and simple a childish vision of a non-existent perfection, an impossible notion of greater good, of right and wrong. Who would have thought that someday right and wrong would be so completely intertwined inside her, the pure Gabrielle, the virtuous Gabrielle, the torn Gabrielle, the maimed Gabrielle.

Reading about the greater good in her scrolls was leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. For so many years she had read and written about this greater good as if she had it all figured out and yet when it came to choosing between Xena and the greater good the clear line she had drawn between right and wrong turned immediately into a fading blur.

There was no wrong or right when it came to protecting Xena. She had tried once following a strict path of righteousness and failed miserably the moment Xena's body fell onto the sand of the arena. She remembered the moment clearly, her vision becoming hazy only returning to normal once the sand was painted in roman red, her body acting out of instinct or out of love, however one prefers to call it. That moment came to her mind often and yet she couldn't bring herself to feel guilty about any of the blood shed that day and the realization scared her beyond words.

"One hundred dinars for your thoughts..."

Gabrielle closed the scroll she was reading and returned it to her bag "you would be wasting your money, my thoughts are not that valuable".

"Gabrielle, everything about you is priceless to me" Xena stated as if it was just another scientific fact like how fire is unavoidably and unmistakably hot.

The bard's eyes were focused on the fire before her, looking at Xena's fading form had become too painful, it was like losing the warrior all over again.

"So what was on your mind?" Xena asked breaking the silence once more.

"I was thinking about our adventures" the bard answered vaguely still lost in her own thoughts.

"Any in particular?"

"No"

Xena sighed sitting beside Gabrielle her hand on her leg "I've known you for too long to have you lying to me Gabrielle, you know there is nothing you can't tell me right?"

"I am not lying Xena" her voice came out a bit too harsh "I'm just tired, traveling back from Chin wore me out" when she finally looked towards Xena's form the warrior was staring right back at her with such intensity that the bard felt herself shrinking a few inches.

"I'm just tired Xena, I promise" Gabrielle got up and walked back to her improvised bed "I just need to rest a little longer"

Xena knew there was nothing she could do for Gabrielle in that moment, she could see the pain in those sea green eyes, she could feel the sorrow behind her every word and her inability to help her bard was terrifying.

"You know that I love you right?"

"I do Xena..."

"Sleep well Gabrielle" the warrior's voice came out as a whisper and went unheard by Gabrielle who quickly gave in to exhaustion and fell back to sleep.

"A long time ago I prayed to whomever is out there to never let the light in her die, I'm not sure if anyone out there heard me but I'm here again, praying to some god out there to protect her, please" Xena was having a hard time getting her voice out she never asked for anything in her life, everything in her life had been fought for not prayed for and yet there she was, dead but on her knees looking up at the night sky praying that someone out there could do what she was no longer capable of, protecting the one who had always held her heart.

"I can see the light getting weaker in her, I can see the same pain I felt once taking over her eyes. I'm asking you, no, I'm begging you to help her, to save her. If she loses herself everything good we've done in this world will mean nothing." the warrior's eyes traveled from the night sky to Gabrielle's sleeping body "this world doesn't need me anymore but it needs her. It took me a while to realize that the world can't be saved by my sword, it can only be saved by the hope she inexplicably brings to every heart she touches along her way".

Looking again at the night sky the warrior princess begged once more with all the love in her heart.

"Please".


	3. Chapter 3

" **Gracious your form and your eyes as honey :** **desire is poured upon your lovely face**

 **Aphrodite has honored you exceedingly..." : Sappho**

"So she came to you first"

Aphrodite turned on her heels towards Ares' voice "She did"

Ares had hoped Xena would come to him first after all he was the one who gave it all up for her. However she had yet to reach out to him, he could feel her presence in this world and yet after months of waiting for her to come to him she had chosen to visit his sister instead.

"And why if I may ask?"

"You may ask but I have no intention of answering" Aphrodite's voice sounded preoccupied and distant, it was obvious to him that whatever the issue that had brought Xena to Aphrodite's temple was, it was serious enough to disturb the usually carefree goddess.

"Why would she come to you asking for help when she could have mine?" Ares threw as bait to infuriate his sister.

Aphrodite's face remained blank "and why should she go to you at all?" The harshness of his sister's tone caught Ares off guard "when have you ever cared about anyone other than yourself brother?"

Only then did Ares noticed the changes he had missed in his sister. Aphrodite was dressed in all black, her once curled hair was now barely in waves and fell down her back and even her makeup was much more sober than what he was used to seeing on her.

"Well, well, the little one learned how to bark I see".

"I've learned a lot of things these past few months Ares, while you were off pursuing your delusional dream of claiming Xena for yourself I was here mourning the death of our family. While you were out playing with your little soldiers I stayed in Olympus trying to keep the world's balance" with a flick of her wrist the temple doors were flung open.

"So if you could just get back to your little love quest and leave me alone I would be most grateful"

Ares disappeared as quickly as he had appeared leaving the goddess of love to her thoughts once more as the dawn started to break and the temple was invaded by shades of orange.

* * *

Gabrielle woke up a couple hours after the first rays of sun, her hand immediately reaching towards her side, a simple reflex resulting from years of habit. Reaching out for Xena every morning just to find her spot empty beside her was something she had learned to live with.

"Morning" her head turned to find Xena sitting across from the now extinct fire. The desire to run into the warrior's strong arms was almost overwhelming, being hugged by Xena was one of the things she missed most. Being able to see her there right beside her and knowing that she was out of reach, that she was nothing more than an image… it was agonizingly painful.

"Hey" she answered -her voice was still clouded with sleep. The bard got up and immediately started packing her things.

"I think you shouldn't get back on the road yet Gabrielle, you need to rest"

"I'm fine Xena, I want to get to Thespiae before the next full moon" Gabrielle answered still packing rapidly "I want to be there for the crescent moon festival".

"The celebration of Eros? I was there with my mother when I was younger" the memory of her mother was enough to put a smile on the warrior's face "it's breathtaking, the music, the lights, it was one of my favorite things while growing up".

Looking at the brunette the bard realized she knew very little about the warrior princess' life before Ares and her darkest phase. She had forgotten that Xena had been a child and teenager too.

"Hello little one"

Gabrielle turned so fast she got dizzy for a few seconds but it didn't stop her from running into Aphrodite's arms involving her into a tight embrace.

"Aphrodite! What are you doing here?" the bard asked with her arms still around the goddess and a rare smile on her lips.

"Can't a girl drop by to see a friend?" breaking the hug the goddess gave Xena a smile "two friends" she corrected immediately.

"It's good to see you" Xena offered back glad to see that Aphrodite had not mentioned their recent meeting "I think I should leave you both alone so that you can catch up a little".

"Where are you going?" Gabrielle asked a hint of panic in her voice. Ever since Chin every time Xena was out of her sight Gabrielle couldn't help but feel restless.

"Nowhere too far, I'll see you in a little while, both of you".

Despite not knowing the reason, traveling too far from Gabrielle seemed to wear out her strength so Xena tried to remain as close as possible from the bard even when she felt like leaving Gabrielle alone to her thoughts. The trip to Aphrodite's temple had tired her out even though it had been a short one.

When Xena was out of sight Aphrodite's attention again turned to Gabrielle "Now, how are you feeling little one?"

Before she could stop them a couple of tears were already streaming down her face. Without another word Aphrodite immediately held her in her arms. The goddess could feel Gabrielle's body getting tense for a few seconds before relaxing into the embrace and for the first time in months the bard cried, allowing the sorrow and the sobs to take over her.

Athena had been right, Aphrodite had a soft spot for Gabrielle, there was something about the little bard that was able to make the goddess' heart melt. Gabrielle was the first real friend she had ever had and the need to protect her had become an everyday reality.

"It's gonna be alright little one, I promise you"

Aphrodite knew she had never been the most powerful of the Olympians, for years even she doubted her own powers. When the Olympian gods had started to lose followers she had been the first to fall, no one cared about the Goddess of love, the pink empty headed blonde Aphrodite. However, with Gabrielle sobbing compulsively against her chest, the goddess of love knew that to protect the bard she wouldn't mind facing Athena herself and the idea of being unsuccessful seemed absurd.

"I need to get her back Aphrodite"

"Little one... I know" Aphrodite's hand was on top of the bard's head caressing her short hair "but there is no more ambrosia and I don't have that kind of power" impotence was a bitter feeling as Aphrodite had come to learn.

"I know, that's why I need to get to Thespiae" Gabrielle broke the embrace and walked away from the goddess' arms which made Aphrodite visibly frown.

"Why Thespiae?"

"During one of my travels with Xena I met a young priest who used to tell stories about a powerful Shaman from Thespiae with the ability to speak with the ones long gone"

Aphrodite could swear she was trying to follow Gabrielle's train of thoughts but she was completely lost.

"You said you don't have the power to bring her back, but we know someone who might know how to do it".

Suddenly everything was clear to Aphrodite "Athena. You want to talk to Athena?"

Gabrielle nodded "She was one of the most powerful in Olympus and one of the oldest too, if someone knows how to do it it's her"

"Do you think she's going to help you bring back the woman who killed her?"

"I don't know, but it's my best shot"

"Gabrielle... even if she wants to help you -which I deeply doubt -we don't even know if she can" Aphrodite's hand reached out to caress Gabrielle's still wet cheek "you'll end up hurting yourself"

With a quick move Gabrielle moved away from Aphrodite's touch "I can't move on, I've tried but I can't. Athena is my best shot and I'll take it with or without your blessing Aphrodite"

Aphrodite was both shocked and hurt by how Gabrielle had rejected her touch "You've made up your mind, there's nothing I can say to change that, but I'm coming with you" even though she was still hurt the goddess smiled "You're my friend Gabrielle, and right now you're the closest thing I have to a family. You have my blessing and my help"

Aphrodite knew she would have to face Xena's wrath later but she could not stand by and watch her little bard suffer. The smile Gabrielle gave her was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen and as the goddess of love and beauty that was something. She knew right away she would go to Thespiae or even to Chin if that could give her the opportunity to see that smile more often.


End file.
